True Story:

Last weekend while at my favorite spa in Oakland Cali “sol-y-mar”. Anyway, as I sat there in the waiting area in anticipation for my “Island Retreat Massage”, I over heard 2 woman talking. They were about my age, 35ish but, Jay Z says 30 is the new 20 so 26ish it is!

Moving on to the story, now please don’t get me wrong, I’m not a nosey woman, but the only way not to hear this convo would have meant I would have had to leave the house with ear plugs.

The convo went like this and yes I did hear their names…

Amber: I’m so sorry this happened to you AGAIN!

Tina: Is there any good men, I mean I did everything for him and this is how he repays me! All this time he lying about spending time with his son….he was still seeing his ex wife.

Amber: The thing I hate about all this is the fact that you treat his son just like your own. The level of disrespect here angers me.

Tina: Jamie tried to tell me a long time ago that he still flirted with her, but I thought she was being a typical ex wife being jealous so I cursed her out about it. I feel like such a fool.

Amber: No need to feel like a fool Tina, just count your blessings for finding out early on as to what manner of man he is. I know all this really hurts right now, but after our little spa day you’ll feel so much better.

This is when I was called in for my message, so that’s all I got to hear. Nevertheless, that’s all I needed to hear to put that story together. Another sad case of a good woman being cheated on!!!  I wish the best for Tina. It seems her good friend will help her through this horrible ordeal.

The Million Dollar Question I Have Is:

WHAT REALLY KEEPS A MAN FROM CHEATING?

My answer is simple: The man that chooses NOT to cheat is what keeps a man from cheating!

~ I asked a good friend of mines (which happens to be male) to answer these few questions to get a man’s prospective on this topic. He is a “no waste words” type of guy so a very special thanks goes to him for taking the time to reply

Here is what he had to say…

Q: Why do men cheat even when they have a successful, self sufficient woman at home?

 A: Truthfully the success of the woman has little to do with it. Most cheaters do it simply because they can. ANd a successful woman may be too busy to notice.

Q: What will make a man content with what he has?

A: Being content is unique to the person there is no set thing that will do it. Everyones needs are unique.

Q: Is it society that causes men to cheat?

A: SOicety has little to do with it beyond the fact that it is a man’s world

Q: Is there something that a woman can actually do to cheat proof her relationship?

A: No.A person male or female can only be tru to themselves and their partner and hope that they are equally so with them. You can’t “cheat proof” a relationship if a person wants to cheat then they will.

Q: Why do men have such a hard time accepting the woman ending the relationship after he was the one that ruined it?

A: Never heard that before.But in the end, no one likes being rejected and left regardless of if they deseerve it or not.

Are you looking for fresh new ways to spice up YOUR relationship just in time for the heated season coming? Well if so, Zane has 9 good reasons to get you started!!! STEAMY TRAILS SITE

1. Use your car for more than driving

The next time you two pull into the garage, see how far back that passenger seat reclines. Or better yet, hop into the backseat and go at it like two teens out on a Saturday night.

2. Hook up in the hallway

Rough day at work? Unwind the second you get home by dropping your bag—and any inhibitions—as soon as you close the front door. Tell your man you’ve been waiting to feel his hands on you all day—and then use the doorknob to brace yourselves for impact, right there in the entryway.

3. Make love to his mind

Ask your man one simple question: “What sexual fantasy would you want to fulfill with me?” It may be as basic as wanting you to initiate sex. Or as complex as a costume and a video camera. Either way, communicating your desires and needs to each other can be the ultimate aphrodisiac. After your candid sex talk, start fulfilling his intimate wishes (if you’re comfortable with them) and ask him to reciprocate.

4. Get on top

Forget about the missionary position—tonight you’re riding high. I know you’re nervous: I’m constantly getting questions from my readers about the woman-on-top position. But you deserve to take control at times. Not only will your partner appreciate being able to lie back and enjoy himself, but you’ll also feel empowered by taking the lead. And trust me, I’m sure if you need a little assistance on top, your man will help you get into the groove.

5. Spoil yourself

Manless at the moment? Try picking a night to tune out the rest of the world and indulge your senses at home. Turn off your phone, order in a decadent meal, and only leave your scented, candlelit bath to slip into a plush robe and head for bed. Top the night off by pleasuring yourself to sleep.

6. Get ahead of the game

Feel like you can’t say even one word to your man while the Yankees are playing? Actions speak louder anyway. So long as he’s not watching the World Series, be bold enough to try to tempt him away from the television with a sexy striptease. He’ll remember that it’s not whether his team wins or loses, but how much play he gets.

7. Disappear for seven minutes

Next time you’re both at a party, sneak off—one at a time—to the bathroom, a closet or any space you can find for a quickie. The adrenaline rush of possibly getting caught will increase your excitement tenfold.

8. Use your imagination

Go alone to a coffee shop or an erotic poetry night and fantasize about sexy men you see there. Which ones look like great lovers? How would the guy in the corner handle your body? Later that night, put your mind to the ultimate challenge: See if you can reach orgasmic ecstasy by simply playing out the interlude in your mind.

9. Make every moment matter

Happen to find yourself in one of those awfully slow fast-food drive-through? When you’re done shouting into the microphone, lean over to your man and, in silky-soft tones, talk dirty in his ear. Even use your fingers to explore each other’s bodies in a little foreplay. But stop fooling around before you get into camera range. Don’t worry, you can continue at home and really have it your way.

Every week to 2 weeks, most women get their hair did as a routine. As for me, I usually go bi-weekly to comply with pay days.  Hey, with the economy the way it is even getting your hair done has to stay on budget.

Anyway, to make a long story short, as Pauletta (my stylist) started my hair, she put the girl she had rinsed under the dryer.

Pauletta asks,

“Girl, how U been this week”?  I reply,
“Fine chica, just making it one day at a time”.

She goes, “that’s good, we all doin that these days”.

I asked her how was her cousin Jackie. She replied,

“You mean Jackie, the heffa that left Omar for sorry azz Danieal”?

I go, “Um yes, that’ll be the one minus the heffa…LOL, You ain’t gone get me to call that heffa a heffa! Hell, you know Jackie, she’ll come in here and have hair flyin all in this lil shop!”.

After laughing, Pauletta goes on to answer…

“Listen girl, Jackie left the man she was with for 2 years for a cat that she JUST met and only hung out with for 1 month. Omar does have a kid and a baby momma, but he’s a good guy that repected the ground she walked on. Daniel on the other hand, is a player and pretty boy that she can never seem to find on the weekends. I asked the girl why she left Omar like that and all she replied to me was…”don’t ask why after why”. Now Trina, is that foolish or what?

I said, “Girl imma have to hang out with homegirl to knock some sense in her head”.

Pauletta says, hmm you better do that quick cause all that girl’s sense is almost gone…and remember you ain’t heard none of this frome me”.
I say, heard what”? LOL! “Girl gone and tame these naps”. END*

Okay now I ask all of you that are passing through to read this blog, why do women and men give up good people for the bad ones?

This and more will be discussed on Blog Talk Radio Sunday Night 7PM PST / 10PM EST
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Steamy_Trails/2009/03/23/What-About-The-Good-Man-Right-In-Your-Face
Call in # (646) 378-1354

In response to a recent blog post entitled “Cougarism”.  My biz partner Nita and I decided to have a live interview with real women dating younger men.  Ms. Envoy was so nice to share her story with us.  S-H-E-M-A Gurls on BTR had a fun discussion on the pros and cons of dating a younger man.  We also had another person call in to share her story too.  As it turns out, they weren’t actually looking for younger men.  They became what I call “Accidental Cougars”.  The convo was interesting indeed.  We even had a young man call in with a male perspective (which was also interesting).  Listen here, comment here, perhaps you may have a story to share here too!!!  Click the pic

Thanks for visiting The Ramblings of A SlickGurl,

COUGARISM:

The study and philosophy of all things concerning older women who prey on young verile men to fulfill their primal sexual desires (also known as a ‘Cougar’). Urban Dictionary

In todays society, we find that women are looking better longer.  They are also making their own choices more obvious and clear of what they want.   Not only within themselves, but also with the MEN they choose.  Woman in whom understand their bodies are realizing that a younger man is just simply more compatible with our ever changing bodies.

A males sexual peak is between 20 to 30 years of age while in women it is around 35 to 40 years. Where men leave off, dropping the ball so to speak – women are still going as strong as ever.  Sexually speaking that is.  So with the knowledge of peak zones, you tell me, why must woman that want to be satisfied the way they see fit, has to be labeled?

COUGAR FACTS

Among the top predators next to bears, the cougar is a powerful animal. Cougars are large, slender cats with large feet and muscular limbs. It is also known as a mountain lion, panther, or puma. The cougar is generally a solitary cat and an extremely territorial animal. Their predatory behavior is similar the domestic cat in that it conceals itself while stalking its prey for a surprise attack.

Now after reading that, I have no idea why women that wish to please THEIR WAY are labeled as such.  So to all the women out there with younger men as a mate, hold your head up high knowing that no matter what people say, it all boils down to…what YOU want and what YOU need!!  As I’d always say in the best “Eartha Kitt” voice I could muster, “Here Me Roar”!!!! LOL.

WHY MEN FALL FOR OLDER WOMEN

To all my “Grown Folk” readers, welcome back and thank you for stopping by.  This post is unfortunately not my own. This wonderful piece was written by a dear friend of mines, I call him The Wise One.  He asked me to post this as a mens point of view concerning this situation.  Has this happened to you?  Rather the answer be No or Yes, Please sit down, have a sip of coffee and enjoy this as much as I have.

The Wise One Says…

It’s been three months since you and the new cutie you met have been kicking it. From the moment you met, you let her know from jump that you were not ready to be in a relationship. However, you were open to becoming friends with benefits. She said she was with it. You thought you had a nice little thing going, until she started beefing about… Who you’re with? Why can’t she spend the night at your house? Why don’t you ever take her any where? And who the hell keeps texting you at 3:00am?

You are dumbfounded. You don’t understand why she’s tripping. You thought you had the perfect little set up. From day one you made your position clear…You were not ready to be tied down. So what’s the problem? I’ll tell you: You allowed yourself to get caught in a loophole because more often than not a no strings attached arrangement comes with more loopholes than you bargained for. That loophole is called…catching feelings.

Just as I say in my writing for women: You must always remember that all relationships are like silent contracts, even the purely physical ones. This is why it is so important that you pay more attention to a woman’s behavior than you do her words. This way you will know what you are signing on to before you seal the deal. 

Even if you tell a woman from the get go that you want to keep things light, pay attention to her behavior, because behavior never lies. Her behavior will tell you if she’s really ok with being your booty call buddy or if she’s holding on hoping for something more. Her behavior will tell you where she is emotionally with you. Is she treating the situation lightly or is she treating you like her man? If it’s the later, then she is not taking the arrangement as casually as you are and it would serve you well to remind her of your initial agreement or back up altogether and break things off before she gets too deeply involved and too badly hurt.

Spiritually speaking, we were not designed to seperate our physical unions from our emotional ones. That’s why we get ourselves into trouble when we treat sex like just another casual activity.

So it just makes sense if you want to avoid having your phone blown up, your tires slashed or worse, to remind the woman who you’re just not that into… that you are not ready for a serious relationship. If you don’t you are setting yourself up for DRAMA, DRAMA and MORE DRAMA. It’s better to remind her where she stands with you and spare her the longterm heartache, then to sell her a pipe dream to keep the sex coming and pay for it on the back end.

Here’s an inside scoop, which I’m sure many of you had to find out the hard way: It’s difficult for the average woman to separate her emotions from sex. Even more, if the sex is extremely intense, to her, it feels like intimacy, while for most men sex… even mind blowing sex… is simply good sex. 

So if you want to save yourself a lot of grief, pay attention to a woman’s behavior. If she is treating you like you’re a priority chances are you are, even if she is not a priority for you. If she is bending over backwards to accommodate you, you best believe that she wants more from you than a regularly scheduled booty call with a deadline. So if you have no intention of becoming her leading man, don’t accept the leading man treatment. In the longrun, it will save you a whole lot of grief and drama.

21 Thing​s Girls​ Don’​t Notic​e

You HAVE to read all 21, it may cause you to rethink some things as I have…

1) Guys may be flirt​ing aroun​d all day, but befor​e they go to sleep​,​ they alway​s think​ about​ the girl they truly​ care about​.​

2) Guys are more emoti​onal then you think​,​ if they loved​ you at one point​,​ it’​ll take them a lot longe​r then you think​ to let you go, and it hurts​ every​ secon​d that they arent​ with u

3) Guys go crazy​ over a girl’​s smile​ ( :

4) A guy who likes​ you wants​ to be the only guy you talk to.

5) Givin​g a guy a hangi​ng messa​ge like “You know what?​ uh. never​mind.​”​ would​ make him jump to a concl​usion​ that is far from what you are think​ing .

And he’​ll assum​e he did somet​hing wrong​ and he’​ll obses​s about​ it tryin​g to figur​e it out

6) If a guy tells​ you about​ his probl​ems,​ he just needs​ someo​ne to liste​n to him. You don’​t need to give advic​e

7) A usual​ act that prove​s that the guy likes​ you is when he tease​s you

GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THEN YOU LOVE THEM!​

9) Guys use words​ like hot or cute to descr​ibe girls​.​ They rarel​y use beaut​iful or gorge​ous.​ If a guy uses that,​ he loves​ you or likes​ you a whole​ heck of a lot.

10) If the guy does somet​hing stupi​d in front​ of the girl,​ he will think​ about​ it for the next coupl​e days or until​ the next time he spend​s time with you

11) ​If a guy looks​ unusu​ally calm and laid back,​ he’s proba​bly fakin​g it and he is reall​y think​ing about​ somet​hing.

12) When a guy says he is going​ crazy​ about​ the girl,​ he reall​y is.

Guys rarel​y say that

13) When a guy asks you to leave​ him alone​,​ he’s just actua​lly sayin​g,​ “​Pleas​e come and liste​n to me”

14) If a guy start​s to talk serio​usly,​ liste​n to him. It doesn​’​t happe​n that often​,​ so when it does,​ you know somet​hing’​s up.

15) When a guy looks​ at you for longe​r than a secon​d,​ he’s defin​itely​ think​ing somet​hing

16) Guys reall​y think​ that girls​ are stran​ge and have unpre​dicta​ble decis​ions and are MAD confu​sing but someh​ow are drawn​ even more to them

17) A guy would​ give the world​ to be able to read a girl’​s mind for a day

18) No guys cant handl​e all his probl​ems on his own.

He’s just too stubb​orn to admit​ it
19) NOT ALL GUYS ARE RUDE!​​​!​​​!​​​ Just becau​se ONE is RUDE doesn​’​t mean he repre​sents​ ALL of them

20) WHEN A GUY SACRI​FICES​ HIS SLEEP​ AND HEALT​H JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALL​Y LIKES​ YOU AND WANTS​ TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSI​BLE

21) Even if you dump a guy month​s ago and he loved​ you he proba​bly still​ does and if he had one wish it would​ be you to come back into his life.

~ Every​thing​ said in this bulle​tin is TRUE!

~ Ladie​s,​ repos​t this…spread the link of understanding men more.

-~ Guys,​ realize that woman can misunderstand you by your actions and that great relationships take work and time.

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