To all my “Grown Folk” readers, welcome back and thank you for stopping by.  This post is unfortunately not my own. This wonderful piece was written by a dear friend of mines, I call him The Wise One.  He asked me to post this as a mens point of view concerning this situation.  Has this happened to you?  Rather the answer be No or Yes, Please sit down, have a sip of coffee and enjoy this as much as I have.

The Wise One Says…

It’s been three months since you and the new cutie you met have been kicking it. From the moment you met, you let her know from jump that you were not ready to be in a relationship. However, you were open to becoming friends with benefits. She said she was with it. You thought you had a nice little thing going, until she started beefing about… Who you’re with? Why can’t she spend the night at your house? Why don’t you ever take her any where? And who the hell keeps texting you at 3:00am?

You are dumbfounded. You don’t understand why she’s tripping. You thought you had the perfect little set up. From day one you made your position clear…You were not ready to be tied down. So what’s the problem? I’ll tell you: You allowed yourself to get caught in a loophole because more often than not a no strings attached arrangement comes with more loopholes than you bargained for. That loophole is called…catching feelings.

Just as I say in my writing for women: You must always remember that all relationships are like silent contracts, even the purely physical ones. This is why it is so important that you pay more attention to a woman’s behavior than you do her words. This way you will know what you are signing on to before you seal the deal. 

Even if you tell a woman from the get go that you want to keep things light, pay attention to her behavior, because behavior never lies. Her behavior will tell you if she’s really ok with being your booty call buddy or if she’s holding on hoping for something more. Her behavior will tell you where she is emotionally with you. Is she treating the situation lightly or is she treating you like her man? If it’s the later, then she is not taking the arrangement as casually as you are and it would serve you well to remind her of your initial agreement or back up altogether and break things off before she gets too deeply involved and too badly hurt.

Spiritually speaking, we were not designed to seperate our physical unions from our emotional ones. That’s why we get ourselves into trouble when we treat sex like just another casual activity.

So it just makes sense if you want to avoid having your phone blown up, your tires slashed or worse, to remind the woman who you’re just not that into… that you are not ready for a serious relationship. If you don’t you are setting yourself up for DRAMA, DRAMA and MORE DRAMA. It’s better to remind her where she stands with you and spare her the longterm heartache, then to sell her a pipe dream to keep the sex coming and pay for it on the back end.

Here’s an inside scoop, which I’m sure many of you had to find out the hard way: It’s difficult for the average woman to separate her emotions from sex. Even more, if the sex is extremely intense, to her, it feels like intimacy, while for most men sex… even mind blowing sex… is simply good sex. 

So if you want to save yourself a lot of grief, pay attention to a woman’s behavior. If she is treating you like you’re a priority chances are you are, even if she is not a priority for you. If she is bending over backwards to accommodate you, you best believe that she wants more from you than a regularly scheduled booty call with a deadline. So if you have no intention of becoming her leading man, don’t accept the leading man treatment. In the longrun, it will save you a whole lot of grief and drama.